My hands shake too much, and I keep stuttering, fumbling over the simplest of phrases. Such as, “please don’t leave me,” and, “I’m sorry—.” I must go now. The world is spinning, and I’m losing control.
Forgive. Forget. Fake it. Chin up. Wear lipstick, make lists, make sure your voicemail isn’t full. Mix protein shakes, send timely thank you notes, sip drinks more slowly, stare at adults’ eyebrows, smile without dimples, develop perfect posture. Be gracious, be kind, eliminate self-pity. Look in the mirror and shift your internal monologue from ‘How do I look?’ to ‘This is my face,’ from ‘What the hell am I doing?’ to ‘This is my life.’ Capitalize your emails, read the news, walk briskly, stay focused, and never, ever let on that you are somewhat lost and sometimes lonely and so completely confused (and would someone please just let me know what it is I’m supposed to do next, where exactly I’m supposed to go–). Just keep going. Go, and do not stop.
A Checklist for the Age 19 (Jennifer Schaffer)
I can’t quite help but think that I was meant for something more than the world has been able to offer me.
when will my time come? (via my-fresh-beginning)